I'm just too tired even thinking about it right now, but after a loud but brief argument over directions to this race, of all inane subjects, E. freaked out and said, as we pulled into the parking lot of the race site, "I don't want to be together anymore!"
That's right: The boy broke off our engagement 10 minutes before we ran in this high-profile 3-mile race, of which I'm the captain of a five-member team from my company.
Talk about rocking my world. I did not PR, as you can imagine. In fact, I almost quit in the middle. Almost ran right off the course and over to a tree to sit down. I didn't, though. I didn't want to let down my teammates. I finished in 24:49, or more than 1 minute off race pace. My team finished in the upper half of the print media category.
Not that running is the most important thing right now. I apologized to E., who is now acting sheepish around me and looking at me moony-eyed. But things are still dicey. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get.
Why did he have to yell, "I hate being in this car with you! I want to get away from you! I don't want to be together anymore!" just because we were having an argument? Prior to this outburst, no cuss words were thrown, and not even very much arguing was going on.
I just said, in exasperation when he asked me (after already getting lost) if he should take a left turn or right turn, "I don't know. You're the driver!"
Then he made his cutting remark, broke up with me, and threw the race map at my feet. WTF?! I mean, he could have yelled at me that he didn't know where he was going, either, or that I shouldn't yell at him. But breaking off the engagement?!
I will say, though, that E. hates anger, no matter what the reason, both from me and from himself. It scares him.
Anyway. His remark came totally out of left field. I mean, he just e-mailed me yesterday a couple of places in Hawaii that he wanted me to check out for our honeymoon in August.
Maybe relationships are just too hard.
WTF?! That's just crazy, Bex. What the heck is going on over there? None of that makes sense. Sounds like maybe there's some serious talking due between you two about expectations and pressure. Maybe everything coming together just scares the bejeebies out of the guy and it all blurted out like that. Sometimes running away is a gut reaction, but not what they want.
ReplyDeleteHoping you two have some time to talk about it all.
I hate blurting anger at moments like these. Taking control over your emotions is, in my book, the most unselfish, mature thing you can do in a tense moment.
ReplyDeleteGod. We are living similar lives right now. Maybe we do need to meet and have a beer.
Whatcha doing this weekend?
Hi Bex,
ReplyDeleteWow. All I can say is that it really sucks that E. said that to you. I know because I just went through a breakup myself with Alan. I know I said some horrible things to him at times, so I know how you feel. If you need any moral support, I'll be here. I know you've been busy and all, but don't be a stranger! :-) My new email is misslv80@REMOVETHIScox.net (obviously you remove the "REMOVETHIS") if you ever want to chat. Take care! :-)
I liked Jon's insight - need for more talking, dealing with pressure and expectations. You probably don't want anymore advice but... E. must not be a grade A talker so if you can do it - taking the intitiative - then he can do it. Ask questions. Listen. Ask more questions. Don't judge. Work on it. It's a long and winding road.
ReplyDeleteGuys are not the best communicators but women are the best naggers. With that simple algorithm, therein lies the problem. At least you apologized... sheesh. Poor SO E. ;P
ReplyDelete