I've been smacked out of my smarmy mood (see post below). My cardio/weights teacher, P, beat me and the others into submission in class today. At the end, we looked as if we'd run a marathon in the rain, with faces both hollow-eyed and red from exertion.
Things are starting to come together for me and friend's luau on Saturday. The leis I ordered online came in yesterday. The receptionist called and told me there was a "very large box" waiting for me at the front. I was hoping to pass them off as software or books that I get periodically from tech companies, hoping that I'll review them.
Alas, the box was too long. But I think what gave me away was the Luaupartysupplies.com logo, with corresponding cute pineapples, stamped all over it.
Tomorrow I have to file an 80-inch story by 1 pm. That's really long - almost a full newspaper page without graphics. And I'm only half-way done. Should I be freaking out? Probably. And I am, a little.
But I can only produce copy when I'm under a tight deadline, when I have a gun of sorts to my head. So I also relish the challenge.
I believe they call that a form of masochism.
'ey, sistah, howzit! I heah you gon bussum out wit some kine ono luau, ey? Shoots! Dem pupu plattahs, you have some brok' da mout grinds, oh wat! An if you get one imu, one real momona, put 'em in da pit wid dem kiawe wood, eh? Take put some sweet potato, some laulau in wit da imu. Ae! Smack da lips! You get dem uddah tings, too, eh? Da one fingah poi, da chicken long rice, da lomi salmon, da haupia, da potato-mac salad, da poke, an no luau one luau if you no get da rice! 'ey, know wat? If you like geev'um planny good, go order one loco moco at da drive in. Aiwe! Tita, dem's choke ono! An if you get some malihini who fraid da grinds, no worry. Geev'um one beeh, dey no bodda you, fo reals. Tita, you geev'um da kine pahtay at da hale, eh? Catcha bumbye!TRANSLATION: Hey, sistah, how's it going? I hear you're going to bust out one hell of a luau! OK! Are your appetizers are going to be really delicious or what? And if you get a pig, a nice fat one, you can put it in the pit with the kiawe logs. Then you throw on some sweet potatoes and laulau with the pig. Oh! That's some good stuff! There're other things too, like thick poi, chicken long rice, lomi slamon, haupia,potato macaroni salad, poke, and no luau is a luau without rice. Hey, you know what? If you want to give your guests something REALLY good, go down to the drive in and get a loco moco. Ho boy, sistah, those are soooooooooo good! And if you have some tender-footed friends who are a little bit leery of the food, don't woory. Just give them a beer and they'll be fine, really. Sistah, give 'em hell at your party at your house, alright? See you later!
ReplyDelete