you get one of these (from Salon's Broadsheet):
How Scientifically Perfect is Your Butt?
So, suppose that after years of hard-won wisdom -- or just the luck of finding a pair of jeans with amazing lifting properties -- you have made peace with your behind. You may not love every dimple, but when you catch a rear view, you can say, "It's me. I'll take it." Now comes news from the Sunday Times of Australia that threatens any bit of body self-acceptance. A British psychologist has come up with a mathematical formula that evaluates the relative perfection of any given female butt.
David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University in England, came up with this mathematical gem: (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. (S stands for shape or droopiness; C is for how spherical it is. B represents wobble or bounce, and F is for firmness. V measures hip-to-waist ratio, and T is for skin texture and cellulite.)
"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," Holmes told the Times. "Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well perfectly." According to the formula, singer Kylie Minogue apparently has an ideal specimen.
Read the rest here.