My stomach problems continued over the past few days. I've had some stress over the wedding and reception plans, but mostly it's anger and frustration with some relatives over the nuptials.
I can't talk about it now because it's too exhausting to think about. Plus, you'd get depressed. And we can't have that.
Suffice it to say that some people think everything is about them, and f**ck all what you think or feel - even though you're bending over backwards for them.
Re marriage jitters: It's not as if I don't want to be with E. We've been together for years and years, since Bubba was in the White House. I'm not going anywhere.
It's just, wow, marriage. It is a big effing deal. When you're in a relationship but not married, and one or both of you mess up, it's like, "No harm, no foul." (Though that isn't really true, either.)
But, marriage. So huge. So monumental. I've come close to tying the knot two other times with past boyfriends. But didn't. (I'm a slippery little sucker.) I'm scared of mucking it up somehow, of failing miserably. I hate failing. At anything. And especially at this.
But at some point, one just has to screw up one's courage.
Running Update: Ran 5.5 miles at dusk with M. and K. earlier this evening. I chatted happily with M. about movies while K. ran a few steps quietly but companionably behind us. He hasn't been as talkative lately, but then again, M. talks enough for two people. And K. seemed to be in a good mood, na'theless.
We ran south on the Mt. Vernon trail, which is really quite romantic at night. We had front-row views of the Washington and Jefferson monuments, which were all lit up, the Potomac river on our left placidly lapped the shore, and weeping willows and other verdant trees lined the trail.
The only downer was running through itinerant clouds of skeeters and gnats. Ah, summer in Washington.